Harry Potter… I love the books. Maybe that’s too mild.... | News | Coagulopath

Harry Potter…

I love the books. Maybe that’s too mild. I love the books THIS much. I love the books so hard, that if Helen Keller engaged her psychic powers I would render an excellent eggplant (I’m testing out my Metaphor 3000 program, let me know how well it works).

But I have been able to muster no interest in the movies. Not even one of them. This is because of two contradictory rubics.

1. I know how the story will end
2. All the divergences from the story drive me crazy

The fact that I know the story kills all the excitement for me. It’s like being on an adventure in a new frontier, vs being on a rollercoaster where you know exactly what the track will be like. The unpredictability isn’t there.

But at the same time, I hate it when the movies are different from the books. It may sound stupid, but these are adaptations of specific stories. The crap with Harry fighting Voldemort on broomsticks just annoys me to tears. That isn’t in the book!

So it’s like the movie gets kicked in the nuts from two different directions. I’m bored, and also annoyed. Maybe for some people in works in reverse, and they’re entertained while being pleasantly soothed. I don’t know this stuff. I’m not psychic, man.

Something I don’t get is why people are complaining about the movie being split into two parts. Sure, maybe it was unnecessary, but Hollywood has been doing this for a while, they’ve just never been so blunt about it before. You don’t believe me? Think about the second Matrix movie. There’s one big plot revelation there…and it’s of no significance to the story. There are few reasons why The Matrix Reloaded should have existed, it was just a way to stretch out two movies into three. I would argue that the second and third Pirates of the Carribean movies were much the same…one movie padded out into two (except they overpadded, and these movies are so packed with characters and events that they hardly know what to do with themselves).

Oh yeah, and this!