So Maddox has finally unveiled the first part of his... | News | Coagulopath

So Maddox has finally unveiled the first part of his new video series. It’s five minutes long and is basically him reading one of his articles while a video plays. One obvious fact continues to remain obvious: there’s no web comedian who over-promises and under-delivers like Maddox.

In between his habit of taking eight months to write a quickie rant about swine flu, and his announcements of mysterious “projects” in an effort to keep people visiting, he just doesn’t seem to give that much of a crap any more. He used to be funny. Hell, maybe he still is funny. I don’t know, and that’s the problem. I can’t judge his humor because he basically doesn’t write comedy for the internet any more.

Let’s think about better days, shall we?

His style seems dated now, but remember he comes from the age before 4chan and Encyclopedia Dramatica, where SomethingAwful and eBaum’s World were kings and jokes about pirates and ninjas were the cutting edge. I can’t explain why I find him so hilarious. Just the image of this ugly, hand-coded site, filled with hysteric rants about tiny, unimportant things, illustrated with images made in MS Paint…that’s the Maddox experience.

He was at his best from 2003-2005. His classic “How to Kill Yourself Like a Man” piece is a good example.

“…dig in, you chunky son of a bitch! Keep eating until you can’t possibly eat anymore, then eat some more. Your gut will rupture and you will shit yourself. The cool thing about this method is that it’s not only disgusting to clean up, but you’ll probably be so bloated from the beans (choose Van Camp’s by the way, not Bush’s baked beans unless you like the taste of beans pickled in ball sweat) that you probably won’t fit in the casket without some serious reconstructive surgery. Guess who’s footing the bill for that one? That’s right: friends and family. Just kidding. You have no friends.”

Yeah, it was simple, but it worked! He had his own voice, and he never compromised it. He wasn’t like Cracked, which seemingly has a quota of pop culture references and internet memes to meet in each article. He never surrendered even the smallest inch of ground in order to gain traffic.

But now he’s just pathetic. Horrible attempts at being “edgy,” random name-dropping of 4chan and /b/, and art school snobbishness…that’s what he takes eight months to write now.

For the “IF YOU HATE HIM WHY DO YOU KEEP VISITING CROWD”, I turn myself in. No matter how bad he gets I will still keep visiting. That’s how deep his early articles have their hooks in me. He can turn out bi-millenial articles about how gay I am and I’ll probably keep showing up to read them. Damn him.