This is the debut “album” by autistic internet superhero Chris-chan... | Music / Reviews | Coagulopath

imagesThis is the debut “album” by autistic internet superhero Chris-chan and his fictitious backing band of hedgehogs.

The tracks are songs by Britney Spears and other artists Chris enjoys. His sole creative contribution is to sing over them with new lyrics more relevent to his lonesome, girlfriend-free life. “So Need a Cute Girl” involves Chris shouting “WHY DO ALL THE JERKS GET ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS?!” and describing himself as a “virgin with rage” to the sound of The Backstreet Boys’ “I Want it That Way.”

Speaking of Chris’s voice, it is an acquired taste. You can listen here. As an aside, Chris says his voice sounds like Frank Sinatra’s.

If you’re a JERK, or a DANG DIRTY TROLL, or just someone looking to play KICK THE AUTISTIC, there’s lots of classic Chris-isms to enjoy. “Yellow is a Mellow Colour” makes just as much sense as the name implies. “La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova” (based off some Ricky Martin song) features lyrics about Chris getting action in everyone’s favourite place for erotic liaisons: the kitchen.

Chris’s musical tastes are a bit limited. All of the album’s songs are either a) ubiquitous mainstream pop hits, b) featured on the OSTs to Pokemon and Sonic the Hedgehog games. Thank God that Guitar Hero would soon hit stores, and Chris would be introduced to a huge library of classic rock songs…well, the ones that were featured on Guitar Hero, at least.

Chris is obviously proud of this album. I find it entertaining too. Unfortunately, it’s only about 25 minutes long. I would recommend that you rip the mp3s and copy them twice over on to a blank CD, for double the Chris goodness, but I won’t. That would infringe Chris’s copyright.