Slipknot is a nu metal band (although every couple of... | Music / Reviews | Coagulopath

Slipknot is a nu metal band (although every couple of days a fan vandalises their Wikipedia page so it reads “death metal” or “thrash metal” or something) from Iowa. They achieved great fame and success in the late nineties. THAT’S HOW BAD THEY ARE.

Where to begin? Good God, is Slipknot’s first CD horrible! Random, garbled ADHD riff constructs, endless drum masturbation, a dual tough-guy/clean boyish vocal approach that makes no sense, hideous “art” songs…welcome to modern metal.

The worst part, and by a no-contest, is the drumming. Slipknot utilises three drummers, and after a quick listen, it is readily apparent why no other bands have picked up on this idea. The album is drowning under superfluous percussion noise. “Liberate” and “Surfacing” have some semblance of a beat, but “(sic)” and “Eyeless” (among others) sound like three different drummers playing to three different songs. The wall of snare fills and tom rolls never ends, and combined with the “raw” production means it borders on being painful to listen to.

“Wait and Bleed” and “Spit it Out” are obvious radio biscuits with clean vocals that sound like Linkin Park, and they stick out like a sore thumb on here. On “Spit it Out” we get rapping, just for an extra dose of gay. The rest of the album is a mishmash of crappy Korn ripoffs and hideous noise. This is one of those albums with no riffs, the guitarists just sort of chug away aimlessly. Half the time, it’s like the actual song is over within two or three minutes, and they stretch it out with one-note groove drones for another couple of minutes while the drums flail away uselessly (seriously, half the tracks on here are like that). And the rhythm tone SUCKS. It’s so weak and flat it makes Pantera sound like Judas Priest, and they mixed the bass so high it’s like the lead instrument.

This is just unbelievably terrible. Look, I’ll make this simple: if you like this CD, get your father’s shotgun, put the barrel in your mouth, and administer Old Yeller-style therapy to yourself. Pray to the God that made you that your aim isn’t as bad as your taste in music!